Your Mission, If you Choose to Accept it...

Unleash the Fiend! Spew late-night revelations! Drink Jolt and coffee! Terrorize mall-goers! Shave your pubic hair! Invoke your Dark Side! Vandalize everything! Stand in the middle of traffic and dance! Return favors twofold and return malice fivefold! Infest computers with viruses! Play Monopoly and cheat your ass off! Make prank phone calls! Leave your fly open or your skirt hiked! Show wonders to the dead! Start a radio station! ***BREAK*** Crack incest jokes at family reunions! Warp out on video games! Shove weird pictures through late-night book and video drops! Insert tiny propaganda bombs into publications and newsstands everywhere! Defy TV! Denounce everybody! See through everything! Place disturbing classified ads in newspapers! Promote heavy drug use! Bleed on everything! Send your teacher's or boss's name in to matchmaker publications! Let it all slide off your back! Pick up stray telepathic thoughts! Piss in small, enclosed public places! Sling dead things into mailboxes! Steal neighbors' pets and covertly deposit them in huge grocery stores -- in the freezers! Toss money at people! Alert people to their inherent beauty or ugliness! Put leaks in cups! Interrupt transmissions! Disappear for a few weeks! Paint targets on cars! ***YOUR*** Copyright everything you see, say, or do! Rant! Stare hatefully at completely normal and boring people! Compete with your teacher in class! Stomp in quiet hallways! Pretend that you're invisible! Doodle anti-Christian imagery! Streak! Revere the unpopular! Place weird ads in sex magazines! Cough up blood when you laugh! Penalize people with imaginary point systems! Absorb CPU radiation! Believe in demons! Put Gutenberg to shame! Leave fingernail and hair clippings everywhere you go! Tip the service generously but fuck with the management! Suddenly realize you're halfway down the page! Feed dogs gobs of peanut butter! Send letters to Hustler about bestiality! Play devil's advocate! Defy classification! Get yourself on TV! Shoot rubber bands! Storm into bars and demand tap water! Untangle phone cords! Wear prison clothes to school or work! Make a game out of your own pain and discomfort! ***FUCKING*** Talk in your sleep! Express interest in everybody! Drink blood, spray piss! Write commentary in the margins of unpurchased magazines and books! Switch labels on boxes and computer discs! Call a phone sex line from your boss's phone and leave it off the hook! Start a church! Build a steeple! Lock the doors and shit on the people! Fake illiteracy! Cross-dress! Hang out in locker rooms and lingerie bars! LIE!!! Initiate breast feedings! Stuff your bra or your pants! Write several conflicting autobiographies! Wear elevator shoes and religious beauty marks! Play with mercury! Explore India Ink! KY Jelly is your friend! Write a contract denying ALL responsibility and have everybody you meet sign it! Tell sick jokes! Be politically incorrect! Pit conservatives and liberals against each other! Talk about ki**ing the President! Start an obsessive and obscure collection! Grow natural dreadlocks! ***CHAINS!*** Pick your nose on public transportation! Get your hands bloody! Place various objects on train tracks! Invent more origami! Try not to notice that everyone resents you! Make love to anything! Make war on everything! Try to put every external organ in your mouth! Be sleazy! Make up parables! Memorize mass murder facts! Develop a cramped and psychotic handwriting style! Explode fruit and vegetables! Stand on bridges and throw heavy things off! Make unintelligible phone calls to talk shows! Take surveys! Release the Kraken! Become a hermaphrodite! Cultivate acne! Look normal -- BE insane! Infiltrate cliques and then destroy them! Record all conversation, save all letters, take pictures of everyone! Peep & exhibit! Leave religious propaganda in porno shops! Take a deep breath! And...


Resist all Conspiracy/Normal programming!!! Be different from them!!! Ignore or distort all fashion!!! Kill Them in the streets!!! Hunt Them down, smash all governments, and exterminate all leaders!!! Resist all conformity!!! Speak out for complete mutant freedom!!! Laugh at them before you kill!!! Whisper rumors in the dead of night!!! Build fallout shelters and arm them!!! Buy comic books and read them as religious tracts -- they are!!! Prepare for the End!!! Mutter while walking along the streets!!! Eat junk!!! Run wild!!! Don't question authority, destroy it in public!!! Quote bizarre sources!!! Don't follow any trend!!! Lie!!! Make bombs and guns validate all emotions and secret feelings!!! Disrupt the orderly flow of life!!! Speak up!!! Declare your difference!!! Scream aloud the Truth in public!!! Make Them hear you!!! Store food!!! Hoard things!!! Carry weapons!!! Die!!! Cause the dead to walk!!! Play with toys!!! Spend all your money!!! Buy!!!! "Live it up!" Behave poorly!!! Fire shots into the night!!! Argue with Them!!! Practice death and fertility rituals!!! Design your own church!!! Pray!!! Invoke the Forgotten Ones!!! Search for the Elder Gods!!! Steal and rob!!! Make burnt offerings and sacrifices to childhood gods!!! Believe in devils!!! Watch the skys for UFOs/Jesus!!! Break out!!! Mutate all over the place!!! Strike fear into the hearts of Normals!!! Alienate all "humans"!!! Vandalize!!! Don't play it safe!!! See what you can get away with!!! Get drunk!!! Watch TV all day long!!! Indulge yourself!!! Stop caring!!! Never give up!!! Declare your freedom!!! Quit your job and slack off!!! Make the weird signs!!! Consort with strange characters!!! Con your family and friends!!! Listen!!! Look for art and beauty in the gutter!!! Make tapes of winos!!! Go to bed!!! Cure Yourself!!! Invent things!!! Snarl at people!!! Be free!!! Harangue!!! Marry People!!! Levitate!!! Baptize!!! Cast out the False Prophets!!!!!!!! Burn!!! Smite the Arch-Demons!!! Contact alien space gods/monsters!!! Use black magic to probe the secrets of the universe!!! Come out on top!!! Make up theories to explain everything!!! Goof off!!! Tell stories!!! Don't give in!!! Do things your own way!!! Don't listen to bullshit!!! Understand the Powers That Exist!!! Make public your superiority!!! Laugh!!! Damn!!! Curse!!! Get revenge!!! Play mean jokes!!! Stay up all night!!! Go on a binge!!! Explode in a rage!!! Take out your frustrations!!! Rationalize!!! Let it all seem unreal!!! Fall in love!!! Punch out the Boss!!! Control the world!!! Create life in your basement!!! Itch, scratch at it!!! Become the mad scientist of your dreams!!! Conjure monsters!!! Shout it out!!! Speak in tongues!!! Talk to God(s)!!! Give up on idiots!!! Never pay for it!!! Get out of having to do things!!! Put it all off!!! Don't bother with it!!! Screw it!!! Collect things!!! Dream your life away!!! Study what is banned!!! Bone up on the Forbiden Sciences!!! Believe in the occult!!! Have guts!!! Prove you're weirder than They are!!! Scare the shit out of Them!!! Be sick!!! Do whatever you want!!! Justify your guilt!!! Never play into Their hands!!! Be evil!!! Be good!!! Be neither!!! Size up the situation!!! Open your eyes!!! Don't do what They say!!! Trick Them!!! Walk on your hands!!! Make your house into a castle!!! Defend yourself!!! Write letters!!! Expose Them at every turn!!! Hide out!!! Go underground and stay there!!! Break promises!!! Cast off all responsibility!!! Don't accept anything!!! There are no laws!!! Everything is permitted!!! Get angry!!! Act ape-like!!! Become an Overman!!! Band together with other true mutants!!! Research it!!! Discover your history!!! Learn your past lives!!! Travel in time!!! Strike back!!!!!! Plot to take over!!! Be unreasonable in everything!!! Dare!!! Battle with the arcane forces of space/time!!! Know thyself!!! Program the computer god!!! Confront the demons of your own soul!!! Arise!!! Stare into the void!!! Dance at the edge of the abyss!!! Use ESP!!! Travel to the stars on the solar winds!!! Jump in the leaves!!! Abandon the darkness!!! Embrace it all!!! Sell your soul to the Old Ones!!! Spy on Them!!! Penetrate Their lies!!! Make yourself be heard!!! Go crazy!!! Take a stand for mutant freedom!!! Start organizations!!! Protest it all!!! Don't try to be "cool"!!! Don't be a hip wimp!!! Get tough!!! Wake up!!! Discover forgotten things!!! Fool Them!!! Attack Their beliefs!!! Get rich!!! Warp out on music!!! Destroy all Their foundations!!!
Unmask Them!!! Or KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!